Dec 26, 2013
0 notes

several interactions and still a bit annoyed.

Dec 16, 2013
1 note

it has some truth to it

i don’t mean to sound rude or prejudiced, but advice from a 17 year old isn’t going to be good advice. age is a number, but you can’t say that for every example in life. you can’t expect good advice from a teenager or a person younger than you. it may come here and there, but it’s definitely rare.

for that matter, and i think i have already stated this, why do any of us seek advice in this world? many answers are already within us. we know ourselves better than others know us, if we truly think and ponder on it.

i’m not sure what motivates us to stop staring at our ceiling and get off the floor. a spark of energy perhaps? sometimes i can’t quite rise back up, but many days i must ask myself what is the use in living if not for a creative reason that i can be proud of. that’s what gets to me. it gets under my skin and inside my brain. it’s a special type of stress that i create on my own.

not only by the opinions of others, but mainly my own opinion - i can’t just sit back and do nothing. i wouldn’t like myself if i did that. so even if all seems wrong in the day, i still have lingering creations-to-be on my mind. they always seem more important than my well-being.

Dec 9, 2013
0 notes

the painting

music made me who i am today. without music, i am an incomplete painting. untouched, i wouldn’t have looked up to face the world.

Dec 4, 2013
0 notes

perhaps… Once more… looking back at this nonsense called life…

maybe kindness was a bad idea. it seemed like a reasonable infection, but looking back, it’s not catching on.

that’s fine by me. i’m actually quite fed up with getting nothing in return. don’t call it breaking, just see it as changing.

everybody thinks they are right in a world of wrongs, so i see only opinions. there is science and then there are imaginary concepts. i’m really starting to think kindness was a terrible idea…

we’re still animals. aggression wins. an argument won’t change anything because everyone has already made up their minds. quit trying to fix everyone. go away and fix yourself. i do things for the sake of doing them. there isn’t a hidden agenda to herd people into my life, even though it would make sense to do so. leave, i don’t care. live your life. i’m not living for you or anyone. i live for myself. friends are a luxury but they are not reasonable motives for living life. my path is art. not the persuasion and feeding off of others. if i lost everyone, i would recover.

does that hurt? probably not, but even if it did, why would you complain? kindness is unappealing and was a horrible idea. whether it was nature or training, it wasn’t useful. any argument made is just another example of how abusive the comments section on any website is. say your word, ignore all the rest if you feel. allow someone to change you or feed the trolls. there’s really nothing you can do or say about what gets dished out every day to anyone and everyone. claim your pain and down other’s. what happened to sucking it up and being humble? must you try to prove your point or pull other points out of a fucking hat? like you’re some kind of terrific genius? so what if you caught a spelilng mistkae? so what if someone you didn’t know of died? you’re a blip in existence. the universe does not care about you or me, because the universe doesn’t have the ability to care.

kindness is an optional, horrible idea. adopt it at your own risk. i’m not one to laugh at those who hurt or fail. i would pick you up, but do i even have the time? i could check my watch, or rather iPhone, but numbers mean nothing if there’s nothing in it for me. give out of the kindness of your heart at your own risk, because it pays you nothing if you’re overdoing it or base it on what is considered purity, but actually is just ignorance.

in that case, find your own logic. if you walk on walls, so be it. created anti-math? make sense out of that. believe what you feel if you’re honestly that much of an idiot. hurt or oppress someone in the name of your beliefs if you want to double up on your idiocy and asshole behavior.

pick a role. be nice, be a villain, find a balance if it makes sense to you. if that’s the world we live in, i am prepared for some interesting results from this generation. and if none of this makes sense to you, i don’t blame you. because the world pretty much equals the same level of confusion, pain, and nonsense. hyper evolved, ready to think, ready to destroy, unprepared for death and our wishes to never be fulfilled or granted.

so successfully painful and horrible! and if you’re ready to let the world eat you, you have a special, unlimited of time offer with plenty of lies and fees attached - be kind.

Feb 27, 2013
0 notes

Hmm.. But why?

Why does evil always lose to good? I like the 9 alignments system for certain reasons. But due to the endless perspectives of others, and unconnected consciousnesses, how can evil even exist? It really can’t. Evil is what you don’t like. Your evil may be someone else’s good.

But still, when I observe classic examples of good vs evil (darkness and light, angel and demon, etc), it seems good always wins. Why? What makes good so right? It’s just a team. Ok so maybe team evil was too powerful and dangerous, so team good took them out. That means you just have another threat: Team good.

If team good takes out team evil, they are stronger and therefore more threatening than team evil. So who’s going to take out team good? Another team evil? Or a new team good? Does that mean they are evil and not good? Or does that mean everyone is good and evil?

If a lion attacks you, you realize you have screwed up. You put yourself in a situation to be attacked by a lion. You would not assume the lion was evil, because wild animals do not have alignment. They focus on instincts and survival. You would, however, still try to kill it to save yourself. If a person attacks you, then you assume they are bad or evil. Even if you had it coming. To further complicate things, you may have to cause them death to save yourself. But even then, most wouldn’t want to. Even after they assume the person is evil. Even though racism counters it, humans must have some kind of value to each other that defies survival. For example… Selfless sacrifice. Even if you saved your s.o. or changed the world, it was one step forward and All The Steps Back. Once you die… You are gone. You will never understand your sacrificial death. You sped up time for yourself to alter something you will never have thought of due to not existing enough to remember. Complex, but true.

Dec 20, 2012
0 notes

careless.

tumblr - land of confused teens, hipsters, and psychotic women.

Dec 11, 2012
73 notes
Dec 10, 2012
1 note

why it’s hard for me to stay in my comedy zone

before music became the known thing about me i was really into drawing and writing. i still am, and recently have revived an old comic series of mine that i plan to build a website for and publish online.

i’m good at it, i think. but it’s one of the more challenging things for me in life. when it comes to music, i can set a bar and meet expectations much below what i am really capable of (when it comes down to pressure and pushing the limits) if necessary. which means, in short, music will always be easy for me to some level.

comics, though. comics are an odd combination of easy and hard. but not really moderate. today i’m going to complain about myself.

some days i have it in the bag. i can make 5 comic strips in a row (on a saint-like day), or maybe 1 or 2 a day, possibly at a pace of twice a week. but a lot of times i have these down eras where i cannot even focus. the primary downfall here is my lack of control over negative emotions when creativity is abundant in me. i could be having a neutral day and SOMETHING will throw it off, which results in inspiration leaving my mind and an excess of procrastination and depression.

but my comedy skills are not effected. whatever level those skills hold is still intact. it’s just the other things that seem to kill it off each day. the hopelessness, or lack of faith, in my work compared to the vast world out there of other works. really, i shouldn’t care. it’s art to me and i’m proud of it. and that’s what counts. but for once i’d like to see something succeed outside of this garage. even though i’m constantly orbiting my art, comics, music, and writings, it doesn’t seem to get them far enough mainly due to my lack of focus.

why do i surround myself with useless things, such as facebook or tv? i try to limit myself to distractions, but it always comes back. i guess when it comes right down to it, it’s all about self-control. if facebook is an unhelpful distraction, i should avoid it at all costs. if watching tv isn’t helping my art, then why bother? and i’m not even a tv person, so how in the hell did i end up in that rut?

i guess when i’m not working at my job-job, or investing time into my projects, i enjoy time to not do things. which sucks because now is a terrible time to be like that. at 25, i must attain my worth from the world through hard work, sweat, and sacrifice.

but if i’m feeling down, lonely, or tired, then i can’t force a joke. and i’m not rich enough to hire writers. nor would i, since i’d rather do it myself as a personal accomplishment and proud owner of the creation to begin with. though at the same time i don’t even approve of my own work most of the time. i’m constantly bashing myself, throwing ideas out the window because they don’t meet my standard. i’m a striving perfectionist and i’m driving myself insane with that quality. it takes me a lot of time to accept one of my works as its final form. so even if i could focus constantly, i would still produce at a moderate rate rather than fast at all.

i don’t believe i should alter my personality as a perfectionist. i like that quality of me because i feel it gives more quality to my work. and i don’t feel that i am wrong for anything either. i’m just at a point where it’s either do it or don’t. doesn’t even matter on the timing, but the sooner the better. or perhaps the sooner the best, because i have even more plans and finishing perhaps one will give me the boost i need to keep going and become known for the things i wish to be known for. and involved myself in the world i wish to be involved in.

Dec 8, 2012
0 notes

you can always count on everyone to let you down. life is a series of let downs and failures. just when you think things are going your way, someone lets you down. you can never count on happiness and now you can’t even count on just being content.

Nov 8, 2012
46 notes
Alexisonfire - Sharks And Danger

forwardtony:

Alexisonfire - Sharks And Danger

“St. Catherines Psychiatric Help Line, this is Nancy”

“I’m sure this is all gonna sound really ridiculous and uh… I don’t exactly expect anyone to believe all this. Uh… for the last little while I’ve been kinda keeping correspondence with my sanity, and uhh… I really get the feeling that I’m starting to lose interest in the letter writing process. The pieces of the letters, they just get progressively shorter and shorter until it’s not even a reply. I uhh… the whole thing makes me really nervous. I just wish I could show you what a huge problem this is…”

As life hangs beside me
I gather all that I can
You were never one for confrontation
But now it lies all in your hands

Your hands…

“I kind of have this… Really terrible habit of asking myself all these stupid questions, right? Like what if uhh… what if there’s a spot on my body that I can touch to keep my heart from beating? or like what if, what if theres this uhh… stray bullet out there that’s gonna come through my window and take me out? like what if uhh… what if theres this huge unstoppable comet that’s just gonna like, destroy the earth and all of us? Like what… what if that’s happening right now? How can I avoid all these questions if I don’t have that? Like, who is gonna be here? Why… who is gonna be there… in the hospital? Who is gonna tell me that all this is bullshit… its a dream? Just a dream.This is not a joke. And uhh… i’ll never sleep”

WHO WILL BE, THERE TO TELL, ME HOW STUPID, I AM??
WHO WILL BE, THERE TO TELL, ME HOW STUPID, I AM??
WHO WILL BE, THERE TO TELL, ME HOW STUPID, I AM??
WHO WILL BE, THERE TO TELL, ME HOW STUPID, I AM??

Who will keep me from lashing out? (LASHING OUT!)
Anxiety chokes me like razor wire! (RAZOR WIRE!)
Who will keep me from lashing out? (LASHING OUT!)
Anxiety chokes me like razor wire! (RAZOR WIRE!)

Now it’s, all in, your hands, in your hands!
Now it’s, all in, your hands, in your hands!
Now it’s, all in, your hands, in your hands!
Now it’s, all in, your hands, in your hands!

ANXIETY, CHOKES ME LIKE, RAZOR WIRE!

Anxiety… chokes me like… RAZOR WIRE!
RAZOR WIRE!…
RAZOR WIRE!…
RAZOR WIRE!…
RAZOR WIRE!…
RAZOR WIRE!… 
RAZOR WIRE!… 
RAZOR WIRE!… 
RAZOR WIRE!…

[click]

(Source: koiyesyokan, via zaberonfire)

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i'm Jeremy. i'm 26. i like to write things and play music. most of these entries are based on impulses. i write things down at the moment they are thought. they aren't always how i feel afterwards. Subscribe via RSS.